


A Hidden Drive

by nomoreflannel



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anal Play, Consensual Non-Consent, Dom/sub, Domme!Suzy, F/M, Light BDSM, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Sex, SUB!ARIN, Spanking, Voyeur!Dan, Voyeurism, dildo, sort of...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-06-22 20:08:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15589746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomoreflannel/pseuds/nomoreflannel
Summary: Dan is going out of town and isn't looking forward to it. When he realizes that he left his flash drive at the Grump Space, he finds Arin and Suzy in a compromising position. They don't know that he's there and it's all happening in front of him. Is he doing the right thing? He doesn't think so. But, was the right thing done to him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a voyeurism-heavy fic where the characters engaging in sexual activity don't know that they're being watched...sorta. What takes place here is purely fictional and in reality, explicit consent is a must.

Dan zips his suitcase and falls back onto the bed. One of the NSP recording techs is getting married in Portland and Dan will be there alone. Brian was invited, but his wife caught the flu so he has to take care of her and their daughter. When he RSVP’d he had a girlfriend, but they broke up a few months later. So much for the plus one.

Staring at the ceiling, he strongly considers not going but finally decides against it. “That would make me feel like too much of a coward. Besides,” he reasons, “I already bought the tickets and had my suit dry cleaned. And who knows,” he thinks, trying to cheer up, “maybe I’ll meet someone there. Someone equally awkward at parties. Or at the very least, I’ll hang out with some other musicians, maybe find some new people to collaborate with.”

As his mind drifts from thoughts of bridesmaids to music, Dan realizes the flash-drive with half-written NSP songs is still sitting on Brian’s desk at the Grumps’ office. “Shit” he curses out loud, “how out of it am I?” He’d wanted to take it with him to Portland, figuring he could get work done in the spare time he’d have after the wedding and his flight back to LA. Part of him already knows that he actually wants to have it with him as a distraction and an excuse. He’d leave the reception soon after dinner and go to his hotel room to work. He’d cite a deadline so he wouldn’t have to make small talk with drunk people all night. “So much for not being a coward,” he sighs as these thoughts reach the surface of his mind. It’s a little after 8 pm on a Friday, so he has two hours to kill until he has to be at the airport for his late-night flight. “Might as well go back for it, got nothing better to do,” Dan says, preparing himself to move.

It had been a long day of packing and unexpected Game Grumps recording. The audio for a set of one-offs completely glitched, so Dan and Arin came in to replay the games. Dan thought it went well, but his head wasn’t fully in it. He spent the entire recording session wishing that Arin was going with him to Portland. It would’ve been nice if Suzy could come, too. They always had a better time at parties when they were together. They found comfort with each other in the most uncomfortable situations, which usually involved getting grilled by people confused by the concept of Let’s Plays. Throughout the week, he kept almost asking Arin or Suzy to come as his plus-one, but he knew how busy they were. He feared it would come off like a disrespectful afterthought to ask them now. He’d just have to tackle this ordeal by himself.

After the session was over, Dan realized Arin had been a little spacey, too, although Dan didn’t really know why. He figured it must’ve been because the AC in the office was barely functional, causing widespread discomfort and leading to much whining from the staff. The repairman couldn’t make it until later in the day. Arin said he’d wait for the guy to come, which pretty much meant he was working late in a stuffy office on a day he should’ve been off. Then again, Suzy worked on Fridays and was going to drive Arin home from work, so she’d probably come by after Dan left.

“They have each other for company, which is more than I have,” Dan thinks with a pang of jealousy quickly followed by guilt. He loves his friends, both as individuals and as a couple. Their relationship gives him hope that he’d find love like that in the future, but that’s easier to believe some days than others. And it can be hard being around that love when he’s feeling down.

Dan pushes off the bed with a groan. He brings the suitcase downstairs, grabs the garment bag, and heads out with the stuff to his car. The office isn’t very far from his house and there isn’t any traffic at this time of night, so he gets there in no time. The parking lot is empty save for a van that has the words “SoCal Air Repair” printed on its side and a car Dan doesn’t recognize. He’s surprised that they’re here so late working on the AC. Could that mean someone is still in the office? Despite the workaholic staff, people usually leave by dinnertime on Fridays. He isn’t in the mood to talk to anyone and hopes he can just get in and out without being noticed. He looks more closely at the parked car; it doesn’t belong to anyone he knows, so it must be the security guard’s. That gives him a bit more confidence to head in.

Dan enters the building and goes over to the stairs. He ascends them comfortably, two at a time, which makes him feel like a powerful spider. It reminds him of the time he’d jokingly tried to get the nickname “Daddy Longlegs” going in college, but it didn’t take. He makes a mental note to tell Arin that story the next time they record, although it might result in Arin calling him “daddy” throughout the session…

Lost in thought, Dan approaches the top floor when the stairwell door flies open and a man carrying a tool-box rushes past him. He looks flustered as he jogs down the stairs. Dan’s startled, but shakes off his surprise. “Hey man, are you alright?”

“Hahaha, never better,” the repairman chuckles nervously, already half a flight down the stairs. “You work in that office, right?”

Dan just nods in response, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

“Ok, well, while I would’ve appreciated a warning ‘bout what kind of place this is, I can’t complain about the show! Tell your friends I’m grateful for the bonus.” He turns and continues down the stairs chuckling to himself and seemingly adjusting the front of his pants.

Dan stands there speechless and confused, watching as the repairman disappears from his line of sight. “What the hell was he talking about? What show? What bonus?” Dan wonders to himself, trying to find an explanation for why the repairman acted like that. “Maybe he meant he’s a fan of our show? Or maybe someone is still working in there and showed him a project?”

Dan has to know if something is going on. He finishes climbing the last few steps and exits to the hallway. The door to the Grump Space is across from him. Dan reaches for his keys and unlocks it as quietly as he can, although he’s not sure why he’s being so cautious. It doesn’t creak as Dan opens it only as far as he needs to slip in. It’s dark. The lights are off in the entrance area. He closes the door behind him carefully and takes a few more steps inside. For a second, Dan thinks about shouting out to see if anyone is there, but something stops him. The space feels alien. He’s been here alone before, even later at night. It’s different now, there’s an edge of mystery to it. That man’s reaction doesn’t make sense if everything is normal.

Walking deeper into the space, Dan sees that the lights in the main work area ahead of him are still on. Brian’s desk is on the other side. Dan reminds himself that’s why he’s really here, to get the thumb drive, not to just stare at an empty office. But it’s also where the AC access panel is. The repairman had probably been over there when something happened.

“Ugh, Matt and Ryan! They must’ve been doing something weird, as usual, and freaked the guy out,” Dan grumbles to himself in a half-whisper. “They’re probably laughing about it in the editors suite or the recording room in the middle of a podcast.” Dan wants to barge in on them, tell them off, grab the drive, go to the stupid airport, and leave this day behind.

Just as he’s about to stomp over there, something in the periphery catches his eye. It’s a different light coming from Arin’s office. The door is cracked open just a little, but it stands out like a bright slash in the darkness. There’s someone moving inside. Dan stops. That can’t be Matt or Ryan, they respect Arin too much to be in there without him. And if all three of them were in there, it wouldn’t be so quiet. Also, none of their cars are parked outside. Dan stares at the doorway, watching the slight fluctuations of illumination. “What if this is another repairman? Or a burglar! They could be armed,” the illogical part of him contemplates. A small bit of fear spikes inside of him, but it’s overwhelmed by a larger wave of curiosity. Dan practically tiptoes towards Arin’s office door and peers through the crack. His eyes widen at what he sees inside.

“That’s a naked woman!... Not just a woman… It’s Suzy!?…” Dan’s gaze races across the scene in front of him, disbelieving.

She’s on her back, spread over the coffee table. Her milky skin glows in the warm light of the room. She’s gripping the edges of the low table, but that’s not stopping her from writhing like electricity is surging through her.

That’s because of Arin. His face is buried between her legs. Dan sees her humping up against him, one leg wrapped around his shoulder, the other pushing up off the floor for traction. Dan’s adrenaline surges, he can hear the blood rushing in his ears, but beyond that also hears Arin licking her, how wet she is, and her soft, sensual moans.

“Oh my GOD!” Dan’s mind screams. For a terrifying split second he thinks he just yelled out loud, but they keep doing what they’re doing and his presence goes unnoticed. It must’ve been in his head. Relief that he didn’t draw attention pours over him, but so does shame. “I need to walk away, sneak back out,” he thinks, but he can barely even get himself to blink, let alone turn around and leave. What they are doing is private, he knows that. He also knows that what he’s doing is a disgusting invasion of that privacy. Yet, he’s mesmerized.

Arin is sitting on his knees, his body in profile to Dan. His arms are bound behind his back with thick wrist cuffs connected by a short chain. Otherwise, he’s completely naked. Instinctively, Dan looks but can’t see Arin’s dick. It must be out though, since Arin’s bare ass is right there, grinding up against something... That’s when Dan sees it. At first, he thinks it’s just a shadow playing tricks on his vision, then Arin raises himself up. Dan’s jaw drops when he sees a short yet thick silicon dildo stuck to the floor. Arin moves almost to its tip, only to lower back down; he starts to do this over and over, hips twitching occasionally. He fucks himself on the toy, mouth never leaving Suzy’s mound. Dan is mesmerized watching Arin do this thing that Dan had only ever joked about. He sees how his body takes it in, how it makes his spine arch from what must be pleasure.

Dan’s attention gets drawn back to Suzy. Realizing that he stopped watching her to watch Arin makes his cheeks burn. He knows it’s ridiculous; as if staring at his best friend’s wife is somehow better than staring at his best friend in this situation just because she’s a woman, all while she’s his friend, too. Her moans are getting louder and coming at shorter intervals. With one hand tangled in her raven-black hair, the other rubs her clit, building speed. Her breasts bounce as her body shakes back and forth across the table surface. Arin stops fucking the dildo now, his hips stilling as he focuses all of his attention on Suzy’s impending climax. She moves her hand away and lets him work.

Dan can’t see what Arin is doing to her exactly, but he pictures that Arin’s tongue is at a point, targeting Suzy’s clit with quick little licks and jabs. Suddenly, her hand leaves the tangles of her own hair and grabs onto Arin’s ponytail instead. He might’ve done something to break the rhythm, maybe by sucking her clit into his mouth, or even nipping at it with his teeth. Either way, she’s clearly in no mood to be teased now. She’s pulling Arin’s ponytail and his head is bobbing between her thighs again, returning to lick her just the way she likes. Dan hears Arin moaning as well. His noises are muffled and deeper than Suzy’s but just as needy.

Arin’s wrists are pulling at the cuffs, the chain jangling. Dan imagines that Arin’s hands are tingling with desperation. Arin must want to push his fingers inside of her, curl them up against the spot that would make her scream his name. His other hand would go up to her breast, squeezing it at first, then rubbing her nipple. Maybe he’d pinch it, causing her pussy to clench down on his fingers and her clit to throb against his tongue. Or maybe he wants his hands free to wrap around his own cock. It must be painfully hard by now. His precum would be dripping onto the hardwood floor. It needs to be touched, needs the friction.

Dan realizes that at some point he stopped thinking about Arin wanting to do those things and was imagining himself instead. The scent of her right before him, jaw aching but also aching to touch, arms trapped, cock throbbing...

Instinctively, Dan’s hand moves to palm himself through his jeans, responding to his arousal. As he makes contact with his growing erection, his knees go just a little weak. He knows he can’t handle masturbating while standing up. Suzy is falling apart before his very eyes and Dan has a decision to make: walk away now and take care of himself elsewhere or stay, watch and touch himself from the shadows.

“I can’t believe I’m actually considering this!” His brain yells at him again. “This is ridiculous! This is fucked up! Go to the car, go, just rub it out there and try to forget everything!” Dan grips his cock tighter through the fabric. He knows he should put an end to this Peeping Tom act and just run off the way he came, back down the stairs.

That’s when he remembers the repairman. “He was here... when Arin and Suzy started to do... this! Could he have seen them? He said he saw a show. Was this what he was talking about?... They wanted to be seen?!” Before Dan has the chance to breathe with some relief, his realization continues to unfold. “But they chose to be watched by a stranger, someone they’d probably never see again. It’s different from being found by a friend, not knowing he’s watching you and your wife pleasure yourselves...” That pleasure though, it’s so close. He hasn’t been so close to unbridled lust like this in a while. Even as he feels shame and bile rise up in his throat, Dan realizes he won’t be able to get himself to leave, not without seeing Arin push Suzy over the edge.

“That’s the only thing I’m waiting for, right? I’ve already seen this much,” Dan attempts to reason with himself, guilt rising nonetheless. “Yeah and they like to be watched... Not by me though. Fuck. I-I’ll take care of myself quickly and slink away like the pervert I clearly am,” he tells himself as he slowly undoes his belt and fly. “If I do this, things will never really be the same, even if they don’t know...” With that acknowledgment, he pushes his jeans and underwear down to just above his knees. He nearly hisses at the exposure to the rapidly cooling air. He has to do this quietly.

Dan drops down to his knees, eyes never leaving the scene taking place in front of him. He’s acutely aware of every noise he makes as he prepares to do this. His breathing is too loud, but it’s covered up by her cries. She’s so close, she has to be. Dan finally wraps his left hand around his cock. As he does so, he covers his mouth with his right. He has the tendency to get vocal during sex- “No, this isn’t sex!” Dan scolds himself, yet his cock throbs, prompting his hand to begin moving along his shaft. He starts slowly, building up the pace and assuring himself that the grip across his mouth is tight enough to keep him quiet. Dan’s eyes flutter shut as he gets lost in his touch. Suzy and Arin’s moans ground him to reality but edge him forward with every gasp as well. Flashes of what he’d already witnessed cross his vision: Arin’s arms straining, Suzy’s hand in his hair, her breasts bouncing. The illicitness of watching them revolts Dan, but part of it, clearly a larger part than he cares to admit, excites him.

“Yes! Oh God! Oooh, Arin, Arin, yes!”

Dan’s eyes flash open again. Up until this moment it was just wordless cries. Now Suzy is screaming out to Arin, to God... and without knowing, to Dan. He’s fucking his fist faster now, trying to get to his own orgasm since hers is coming closer. Pre-cum beads at the tip and he thumbs over it, lubricating himself as he looks over at Arin, completely hunched over Suzy’s pussy as she grinds it against his face. He wishes his friend could feel the relief of being able to jerk off. Dan wishes he could help him.

That unexpected thought almost stills his hand...almost. He pushes it to the back of his mind for now, but keeps going, building speed, trying to match every jerk of Suzy’s hips to a twist on his cock. Words are pouring out her mouth in an endless stream now. She’s telling Arin to keep going, praising him while he laps her up at a quick yet steady pace. Arin is lost in her, she’s lost in her pleasure and Dan is lost in it all.

Finally with a long, loud keening moan, Suzy’s back arches off of the table. When her climax hits her, she looks as if she’s trying to escape the confines of her own body, her soul attempting to get free of its physical limitations to fly off elsewhere. The look on her face, of release, of rapture, is one of beauty...

Dan jerks himself faster, messier with his form as he watches Suzy come. But just as he thinks he’s finally getting close, she collapses back onto the table, and all of the marvelous loud noises in the room stop.

The only sound Dan can hear is their panting breaths. He can’t risk being heard, the sound of him masturbating could be too loud. With a stifled groan, he releases his throbbing cock. Dan looks down as it practically twitches against his thigh. Tears of frustration sting at his eyes but he blinks them back. He needs to go, he didn’t cum in time. This is his punishment for spying on his friends. He’d do what he should’ve done in the first place and will go back to his car. Now he has to make his escape quietly and with blue balls. Fuck.

As his foggy mind tries to think of the next steps, Dan looks back into Arin’s office. He needs a few moments before he can try to stand, so he has to know when they’ll go for the door to get away in time. At least, that’s why he tells himself he’s still watching. Suzy sits up, catching her breath. Arin is still leaning over, face inches from Suzy’s groin. He’s stretching his jaw and rolling his shoulders, stiff from being in the same position for so long and sore from the exertion. Suzy reaches out her hands and rubs along Arin’s jawline, her black manicured nails glistening as they caress him. This causes a shiver to course through Arin, followed by a whine that sounds like it’s coming from an animal, not a person. Dan is so turned on that it’s near-painful, he can imagine that Arin must be even more keyed up.

“How are you doing, hot stuff?” Suzy asks with a smirk. She tilts Arin’s face up to meet her eyes. Then gently, lovingly she says, “You’re amazing, you know? You did so good for me, thank you.”

For the first time since Dan got here, Arin speaks in a low unsteady voice, as if words are coming to him from far away. “M-more, I-I can do more. Whatever you want, let me do it for you,” he says, still shaking a little as Suzy continues to caress his cheeks.

Arin is ready, eager even, to keep pleasuring his wife. It’s clear that Suzy just needs to say the word and Arin will dive right back in, despite his physical discomfort. Dan isn’t covering his mouth anymore, but this makes him bite his lip to keep from making a sound as his arousal stirs again.

“No, Arin, you’ve done enough for me. It’s time for you to get what you want. Get up.”

Dan’s old suspicions that Arin is the more submissive partner are fully confirmed at this point. Suzy steadies Arin as he stands with some difficulty. He groans as he extends his knees and shakes his legs out a little, but doesn’t complain. From the standing position, there’s nothing obstructing Dan’s view of Arin’s cock anymore, nothing stopping him from staring at his friend’s erection.

“Holy shit, I expected it to be that long, but it’s thicker than...I expected it?...” He’d seen glimpses of Arin’s penis in the past, like in the Korean spa and after a work out, but never like this. Arin’s hard cock is angled slightly downwards and flushed a dark pink, almost red, especially at the head from what Dan can see. “I can see it. I am seeing it.” He’s not taking his eyes off of it. He doesn’t want to miss a second of what’ll happen next. He wants Arin to be taken care of, the way he deserves and Dan needs to know he’ll get it. He needs to know that Arin will get to feel good after all of that, more than he wants even himself to feel good. Although, if that happens, too, well, no complaints.

A small part of Dan wants to know where all of these thoughts are coming from, but a bigger part doesn’t care. He’ll care later, when he’s alone or if he gets caught and has to explain what he’s doing with his cock out. Although, he doesn’t think there’s ever going to be an adequate enough explanation. For now though, he’s done worrying. For better or worse, he’s in this. Dan grinds the heel of his palm against the base of his cock and skates his fingers along his shaft. It’s enough to stimulate him, but it’s quieter than jerking it. His hand returns to cover his mouth and he watches with the new promise to only stay long enough to watch Arin get what he’s earned, even if it again means he won’t get to cum himself.

Suzy’s fingers are digging into Arin’s hips, keeping him in place. With her still sitting on the coffee table and Arin standing, his erection is about level with her mouth, but she’s ignoring its existence, unlike Dan. “Why isn’t she reciprocating? Didn’t he earn a blow job?” Dan wonders, just barely teasing himself with the friction. He wouldn’t go faster until Arin starts to get something first, which doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. Suzy’s head tilts upwards, presumably to hold Arin’s gaze, although Dan can’t tell if Arin is meeting it. Suzy can have this intense way of looking at people and Dan is 100% sure she’s using it on Arin. It’s enough to make a grown-man feel small, which is definitely the point here.

“I wish I could do something about this,” she says still dreamy and soft, nodding lightly towards Arin’s cock, “especially after all that time you spent on me.”

“I wanted to do that, Suzy,” Arin responds, louder than before, as if he’s coming back into himself now that he’s off of his knees.

“I know, I remember what you asked for. Which is why, as much as I would love to suck you off…” her gentle tone turns to sharpened steel, “I won’t. You don’t want me to. Is that right?”

Arin shivers, like the cold of her voice is manifest and reaching into his depths. He nods, “Y-yes, Suzy, you’re right. Please…”

“Please what, Arin? What do you want me to do?”

Dan sees Arin’s tongue dart out to lick his lips, tasting the last bit of Suzy’s sweetness as he prepares his response. As Dan removes his hand from his mouth to mirror the action, Arin says, “Punish me. I’ve been bad and I want you to spank me.”

Dan is unprepared for that answer and this time he actually gasps out loud. Lucky for him, he was quiet enough to go unnoticed, but the combination of “almost” being found out and what Arin just said makes Dan’s cock throb and more pre-cum collects at his slit. While Suzy unstraps Arin’s wrist cuffs, Dan starts to rub himself a little faster with the flat of his hand. He’d had kinky girlfriends in the past, ones who liked to be choked during sex or blindfolded and handcuffed to the bed during foreplay. But the ones who liked to be spanked left the biggest impression on Dan’s fantasies. He doesn’t have enough of an ass to really get into it since there’s minimal cushioning for it to be fun, but he always gets a thrill whenever a new partner brings it up or when he treats himself to that kind of porn. It’s a classic kink, nothing shocking, but he isn’t complaining, especially now that Arin is draped over Suzy’s lap. His arms are braced against the ground and he’s facing his office door, facing Dan.

Dan partly wishes that Arin was turned in the other direction. With Arin this way, Dan won’t be able to see just how red his ass will get, a thought that makes Dan turn red himself, but the greater concern is it means that Dan’s chances of getting caught are a lot higher. “Ok, ok, he can’t see me. He’s too distracted, he won’t be able to tell I’m out here with the lights off. And this way, I get to watch his reactions, watch his face as each blow comes down.” It’s Dan’s turn to shudder as arousal builds in the base of his spine. “Holy shit, Arin likes to be spanked. Of course he does…”

Arin’s head is up, but his eyes are closed. He’s shifting a bit, readjusting, or maybe it’s an excuse to rub his otherwise neglected cock against Suzy’s thigh, the first bit of contact it’s had with something since Dan got here. Dan’s hand itches, reminding him of the feeling after the sting of impact. It’s been so long since he’s done it. The phantom sensation is teasing him, making him to want to open the door wide and ask to dole out Arin’s punishment himself.

“Naughty boy!” Suzy says sharply. Shocked out of his reverie, Dan thinks Suzy’s scolding him, reading his desire to spank Arin himself, but she’s directing those words at her husband. Arin’s face twitches, as if he’s expecting the first impact. Dan suspects that Arin was actually trying to goad Suzy into starting by grinding against her like that. He’s seen that tactic before and clearly so has she. Instead, Suzy places her left hand high on Arin’s back, to keep him in place against her thigh and with her right hand, seemingly strokes Arin’s behind, treating it gently before she begins. Suzy speaks, voice firm but the chill that was there before is gone, “Arin, when we talked earlier, you said that you deserve ten strikes for each thing you did wrong, but I think you’re being too hard on yourself. I think that’s too many and I don’t want to bruise you. Ok?”

“Ok,” Arin says softly, back in the more submissive headspace, but also sounding a little disappointed.

“Alright, but I know you want this, so instead, I’m going to do five for the first two infractions and give you another ten for the last one. It should make you nice and sore for a while and adequately punished. What do you say to that?”

“Th-that sounds good. Thank you, Suzy.”

“Good,” she says, smiling a little, happy with herself for convincing Arin not to over-do it.

Dan is in awe of her, specifically the display of her calm self-assuredness mixed with her kindness. Suzy can get really down on herself and Dan hates to see her that way. Seeing this confidence, this strength is something beautiful and really, really sexy. He feels his pulse in his ears. He really wants them to start. “No, I don’t cum until Arin cums, that’s the rule. The voyeurism rule I made up,” Dan thinks, rolling his eyes and his hips.

“I’m going to say what you did wrong during each set and when I’m done with it, you’re going to apologize, thank me and tell me what you’ll do differently next time so I know you understand. Alright?”

“Alright,” Arin repeats, then whines, “please, Suzy, I can’t take waiting anymore! Please!”

“I like it when you beg.” With that, Suzy’s hand comes cracking down on Arin’s ass. Arin lets out a throttled groan and Dan has to bite down on the insides of his cheeks as he thrusts, cock sandwiched between his hand and his thigh. “To start, you told me last weekend that you would change the oil in my car.” Another hit comes, sharp and loud. “You didn’t and it wouldn’t start this morning.” Smack! “You knew how busy I was today, but I had to take it to the mechanic anyway.” A harder slap. “Now I have to drive a fucking rental. You broke your promise!” The last spank is the hardest, causing Arin’s body to jerk forward and his face to twitch in pain. As Arin collects himself to talk, Suzy rubs his rear, alleviating some of the sting.

“I’m sorry, Suzy! I’m sorry I broke my promise. Thank you for teaching me a lesson. Next time you ask me to do something for you, I’ll make it a priority. And, and if I can’t do it, I’ll tell you as soon as I can. I’m sorry.” Arin’s staring straight forward as his apology rushes out of his mouth on one breath.

Based on Arin’s position, they’re just inches from making eye contact, but Arin’s eyes are glazed over. Dan believes he won’t see him in the crack, but he can recognize some disappointment in that belief as well. He recognizes that glassy look- it’s a mix of lust and hurt, both bringing tears. That was just the first round and Dan can tell that Arin is worked up. With each hit, he got some friction, some pleasure, but it was tempered by the pain. When Dan watches porn where girls spank the guys, he occasionally wonders what it’s like to feel someone hefty and strong and with a cock across your legs; now he’s watching his friend experience it... At the back of his mind, where logic and reason are hanging out for the night, Dan realizes that the car he passed in the parking lot must’ve been Suzy’s rental. If Dan had known, would he have come upstairs? How differently would this night have gone?

“Good. I accept your apology.” Suzy raises her hand up in preparation for the next set. “I’m going to remind you of the other broken promise. You knew Dan was sad about going to the wedding alone-”

“The fuck?” Dan does not expect to hear his name come up in the middle of their spanking session. Honestly, it was the last thing he could’ve expected! It’s even enough to get him to stop touching himself. “What promise did Arin break that has anything to do with me? With the wedding?” Trying to move past the surprise, he turns his attention back to what Suzy’s saying.

“- even had the extra invite. We both know he’s felt low since his relationship ended and you told me you wanted to be there for him. You said you’d do anything to cheer him up, but you didn’t. You said you’d ask to go with him. You promised yourself you wouldn’t let him down. Now he’s going alone because you put it off. You broke this promise, too. Our friend is still hurt and I know you are, too, so here’s a reminder of that.” Suzy begins spanking him anew, each one sounds as hard and firm as the one before it, holding nothing back as she alternates cheeks.

Dan stares unblinking at Arin’s face, trying to reconcile all of this newfound knowledge about him, as if by looking hard enough, he’ll find an explanation there. Arin’s biting his bottom lip and grunting softly with each impact, his eyes downcast. A blush spreads. “Did he really ask to be punished for not asking to come with me to the wedding? That’s on me! I wanted to ask him, too! But he’s being spanked for it… He feels like he let me down. He wanted to come. It really would’ve been nice,” Dan thinks, still watching his best friend’s reactions with eagle-eyed focus. Arin is keeping his lower body still, almost like he’s trying not to get as much pleasure out of this round. Dan feels a fresh surge of guilt. “He probably would’ve found something else to get spanked over, he enjoys it,” Dan tries to reason, “but it doesn’t look like he’s enjoying this one. Damn, he feels like he let me down… He cares about me in a way I never thought about...”

Suzy’s been done for a few moments and Arin is collecting himself, breathing hard. His voice comes out shakier this time, a bit quieter. “I’m s-sorry. Thank y-you, Suzy. I need to stop breaking my promises...especially when I know that they’re for my friends... and for me in the long-run. I-I need to stop procrastinating and be more honest, too...I’ll work on that. Is that ok, Suzy?”

Suzy leans over and kisses the top of Arin’s head, a sweet gesture, showing their love in the middle of this otherwise intense setting. “Yes, Arin, that’s great. Yeah, really both of these have been about your awful tendency to procrastinate. So stop doing it,” she says with a light laugh.

“Well, you do it, too,” Arin grumbles under his breath, sounding more like his regular self. It earns him a yank on his ponytail from Suzy, causing him to whimper and jerk his pelvis.

“I’m not the one who asks to be punished to keep in line with correct behavior though, am I? Do you want this, Arin, or not?” she says, back to her dominating persona, hand still tugging lightly on Arin’s hair.

“Yes! I want this! Please don’t stop! I’m sorry I talked back… and yeah, I’ll pro-procrastinate less!” Arin rushes to say all of this, ready and willing to dive back into things.

Strangely, this calms Dan down a bit, especially now that he sees Arin rubbing against her again. “This isn’t really about me. It’s more about the relief of tension and the headspace and the sex,” Dan reassures himself. “Although yeah, I do wish he had the courage to say something to me about coming along, so yeah, I guess I’m ok with this happening, being brought up here.” Dan pulls himself out of his head yet again because Arin has stopped shifting and Suzy is going to start his third punishment. “Fuck, what’s he in for now?”

A dark smirk appears on Suzy’s lips. “Oh, Arin. You were such a bad boy today. Being naughty on the day you get disciplined means you really needed this, huh? Well, you’re getting ten strikes for this one because we both know it’s big, don’t we?” Suzy says this condescendingly, which perks Dan’s flagging member up a bit. Hearing her speak to Arin almost like he was too dumb to understand… well, he can see this is having the desired affect on Arin, too. His eyes are closed again and he’s nodding enthusiastically, the redness of his face deepening. “Now, I believe you that the AC breaking was a coincidence,” she continues patronizingly, “because if you’d done it on purpose, this would be a lot worse for you, right?” He nods again. “Yeah, it makes arranging this with the repairman almost too easy compared to food-delivery people…”

Dan almost wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of them setting that guy up to catch them in the act. He was so frazzled when Dan ran into him. He probably ran back to his truck and jerked off like crazy though. Seeing Arin and Suzy has that affect on people apparently. Dan also cues into the fact that they’d clearly done this before, probably a few times here in the office based on the way Suzy’s talking.

“Arin, I want you to admit what you did while I spank you. You need to feel this in more ways than one. And if you stop talking while I’m doing it, you’re going to thank me for refocusing you on your punishment. Got it?”

“Yes, Suzy,” Arin replies, head hanging down so that Dan can’t see his face. He must’ve missed something while he was lost in thought. He wonders what Arin did that’s causing Suzy to break their pattern like this.

“Now!” Suzy practically barks out, as her hand comes down sharply on Arin’s ass for the first hit, causing him to yip like a small dog.

“Sorry! Thank you!…I-I tried to trick Dan. Umph!”

Another blow comes down on Arin, but Dan feels like he’s been the one impacted. “What the…? What did Arin do to me now?! Why do I keep coming up during this!?” Something close to anger rises in Dan. He’s emotionally torn apart enough between his guilt, his horniness, his loneliness… hearing his best friend admit that he wanted to trick him somehow feels like the final straw. He really should go, he never should’ve stayed. But Arin’s about to explain himself. Now it’s not just about the sex, Dan needs to know what Arin tried to do.

“That’s not enough, Arin.” Smack! “That’s three, keep talking.”

“Th-thank you. Yeah, right after Dan left, I saw the NSP drive on Brian’s desk.” Suzy spanks Arin again and his head jerks up for a moment, eyes scrunched in pain, only to drop back down. “I could’ve called him to come back for it or brought it down to him because I knew…Ahhh!” Another hit and a groan from Arin as his arms sag a bit, causing his face to rest on the floor. He doesn’t try to lift himself back up. His speech is a bit more muffled, but Dan can still hear, although he can’t really comprehend it. “…I knew he wanted to bring it with him to Portland. I hoped Dan would remember it later, when everyone was gone…”

“That’s not all,” Suzy states calmly, as her hand swings down yet again, making Arin gasp.

“I wanted him to come when it was just us!” Smack! Arin cries out, maybe from the pain, maybe from the admission, maybe both. “I hoped Dan would find us! I wanted him to see us! I-I want him to watch us, watch us fuck” Another hit. Arin’s whimpers, then moans. “And I w-want him, I want him, too. With you, with me, with us! AH!!!” The next two spanks comes down in quick succession, hard enough that Arin practically screams, the skin of his ass burning hot.

Arin is panting, face on the floor. Suzy is stroking his bottom, both soothing him and grounding him to his punishment, his words. And Dan, he’s just sitting there, in the shadows, hands at his sides. Nothing is covering his mouth anymore, he’s shocked into silence, couldn’t possibly make a sound. “Arin… wanted me to find him…and Suzy… in the middle of this…” His brain barely pulls the coherent thought together.

“So, what are you sorry about, Arin?” Suzy says tenderly, yet serious.

“I’m sorry that I kept his work away from him and tried to trick him into seeing something he probably wouldn’t have wanted to see. I risked our futures and our friendship because I was too scared to talk to him about it first… I’m afraid to make the first move, which means I shouldn’t have made any move. And I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of it, Suzy. I’m sorry I tried to push things this way.”

Suzy pulls Arin off of the floor and into a sitting position on her lap, still facing Dan. She wraps her arms around him, pinning his arms to his sides and making sure his bottom is pressing onto her thighs. He grimaces at the soreness, but doesn’t say anything. Suzy speaks instead, “You don’t have to apologize to me. I don’t know if this would’ve been a great idea, but I didn’t think it was a bad one either since I went along with it. But you felt bad and I hope this helped you… You know that I want him, too. We’ll feel ready to tell him that sometime.”

While they curl against each other in the office, Suzy stroking Arin’s back and Arin squirming in her lap, the perfect picture of a happy kinky couple, Dan is out in the hallway. His mind fixates on the same words, repeating them in a loop, “They wanted me here. I’m here. They don’t know I’m here.” He doesn’t know if he’s going to start laughing hysterically or crying hysterically, but this numbness isn’t going to last forever. Somehow, part of him does believe this situation; all those jokes over the years of Arin asking Dan to fuck him have left their mark. The piece that’s driving Dan to his breaking point is this: in spite of everything he’s heard, he’s still hard. He shouldn’t be, he should be incredibly turned off by Arin’s admission, by Suzy’s complicity, and most of all, his own actions. And yet, the thought that they had a hand in luring him here, leading him to watch them is one of the most exciting things anyone has ever done to him. And this is what he does in return. Arin meant for Dan to reveal himself, to watch from inside the room, participate maybe. Instead, he’s out here, with a raging erection and a confused sense of morality. “Should I go in there? No, I’ve been here too long for that to be okay. Should I leave? No, I don’t… want to… not yet, not after everything.” He comes close to laughing as the next thought crosses his mind, the backwards logic so stupid that his exhausted brain thinks it’s almost brilliant, “I promised I wouldn’t cum until Arin does. If I leave, then I won’t know if he does, so I won’t be able to. And I need to cum soon, I’ll fucking explode if I don’t.” He feels like a teenager again- horny, desperate, unfulfilled, and so stupid.

“Bring it to me, Arin. It’s time for your reward.”

Suzy’s command draws Dan’s attention back into the complexities of their relationship and into the room. Grinding his thoroughly punished ass onto Suzy’s leg for a final time makes Arin shudder before he slides back onto the floor. He crawls towards the dildo that he’d been fucking when Dan first saw him. Dan’s mind is blank, overwhelmed by everything to the point where all he’s capable of is observing and masturbating. No real thoughts form, just feelings of intense arousal and undeniable attraction as Arin hands Suzy the toy and she stands above him, her height and size still small relative to her husband, but dominating nonetheless. Dan lightly glides his open hand across his cock, as if waiting for his own commands. Wordlessly, she walks out of Dan’s field of vision, while Arin crawls forward a bit more, laying his upper body stomach-side down onto the coffee table. Suzy reappears, holding a bottle of lube and a small oval object about the size of a grape. She leans down and kisses Arin on the forehead, her gorgeous ass and curvy thighs right in front of Dan’s vantage point. He moves his fist faster, makes it tighter- he feels it all coming to a head.

“Please, Suzy. Please fuck me, I’m trying to be good,” Arin whimpers after Suzy releases her kiss and walks to stand between his spread legs. Arin’s knuckles are white as they grip the table, much like Suzy’s were when she was laid out on her back.

“Yes, baby, I’ll give you what you need,” Suzy coos, settling on the floor behind him, on her knees as well. She sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she carefully squeezes a generous amount of lubricant onto the dildo and spreads it down the length. Dans hips snap forward in yearning for her hand providing that same touch to him. Or do they move like that from imagining himself preparing to enter Arin’s riled up body? Dan doesn’t really decide, but he knows it’s not just one or the other. He’ll parse it out later. After all of this, when he’s living another life, when Suzy’s not lining up the girthy thing with Arin’s asshole and pushing it inwards with a slow yet confident push. Arin moans a deep, chesty moan. Dan swallows one down.

Suzy’s hand is holding onto the base of the dildo, barely shifting it back and forth while Arin tries to hold still and just take what she gives him. Dan sees him biting his lower lip and does the same, the spark of pain there just flaring his pleasure below. Dan had almost forgotten about the other thing Suzy brought back with her, but there it is again in her other hand. She smiles down at it and looks as if she’s about to speak, but changes her mind and instead presses it to the base of Arin’s cock, just above his balls. This causes Arin to nearly jump, although the bullet vibe isn’t even on yet and Suzy’s smile spreads to a grin as she pulls the dildo almost all the way out. Just before she pushes it back in, the switch gets flipped and Dan hears it come alive. So does Arin. So does Dan.

Suzy fucks Arin, fast and hard, one arm pistoning the toy inside of her husband, her other wrapped around his hip and holding him in place as best she can to take everything she can give him. Arin’s groaning as if he’s in pain, worse than even during the hardest point of the spanking, but he’s trying to hold still, trying not to cede full control of his body, to keep contact with the pleasure. Dan has never seen anything like this in his life, nothing this beautiful or pure in the most sexual meaning of the term. He’s filled with inexplicable joy, guilt abated for the moment as he watches the carnality of his friends taking and giving pleasure to each other. It’s the sexiest thing in the whole damn fucking world and for this moment, he gets to be a part of it.

Dan’s pleasure is building in his balls, pulsing and snapping him out of his reverie. He imagines just how intensely Arin must be feeling sensations in that spot and he touches himself faster, trying to match the movements of Suzy’s hand, attempting to put himself in both her place and at her mercy. The man currently truly at her mercy yells at this moment, as if shocked by the electricity that had zapped his wife when she was in nearly the same position. He’s pushing back off of the table, fucking himself more onto the fake cock in his ass, just barely holding on for traction.

“I’m so close, Suzy! Please don’t stop,” Arin implores again, giving Dan the signal to keep chasing towards his own orgasm.

“I want you to cum for me, Arin, like the good slut you are!”

With those words, a last full body shudder and a strangled moan, Arin cums across his stomach in a long, pent up stream. As he’s frozen in the moment of climax, Dan’s own cock throbs and milky white globs spread across his fingers and the tops of his thighs, his pleasure that of release, of relief he never realized he yearned for before this night.

It’s a mess. In his foggy, endorphin-riddled brain, Dan knows he didn’t really think this through. He catches his breath, half lidded eyes watching Arin and Suzy doing the same. Their sex toys are discarded off to the side. Arin is on his back, legs now splayed in front of him, a reflective sheen of more than just sweet glistening on his abdomen as it rises and falls. Suzy is still leaning on her knees, looking at Arin with adoration and kindness, moving to caress the side of his face. Just in time she realizes her hands are covered with lube or jizz and she also realizes, much like Dan, that they didn’t fully prepare either.

“How are you doing, Arin? Was that alright? Are you alright?” She asks, concern in her voice.

“I’m fantastic, Suze. Holy shit, that was the best time yet. I’m gonna feel it for a week! Thank you, I really appreciate it, I love you,” Arin says, tilting his head and kissing Suzy on her knee. He smiles at her beaming, basking in the glow of his feelings. Dan let’s himself feel that glow, too, if only for a moment before he hears what he expects and prepares to jump into action.

“I’m so glad to hear that. If you’re ok, I’d like to get us some paper towels and wet wipes to clean up with. I’ll just go to the bathroom and be back in a flash. Ok?”

With those words, Dan hastily wipes his hand on the inside of his shirt and pulls up his underwear across his thighs. He grimaces as the fabric touches the already cold mess and clings to his skin, but he puts that aside as his mind races to find a place to hide. He registers Arin agreeing and the sound of creaking wood behind the door, but he’s already on the move. The closest spot is the lounge, the biggest piece of furniture is the couch on which they hang out and stream... at work. “Not now,” he tells himself. “Go!” On wobbly legs he stands, gripping his jeans with his clean hand and wills himself to jog as quietly as possible, to stow away before she comes out.

He flops down, his back pressed against the back of the couch. The narrow space between it and the wall is uncomfortable, but he doesn’t care. For the hundredth time tonight, he tells himself to be quiet, prays that he made it in time.

Dan hears Suzy close Arin’s office door. She pads lightly towards the bathroom. “I’m hidden here, she can’t see me,” he silently reassures himself. Yet, her footsteps seem to be coming closer... and they stop just on the other side of the couch. She’s not in his line of sight, but he can feel her presence. He sits there, frozen, not even daring to breath.

“I know you’re there, Danny.”

“FUCK!” He feels like he’s going to be sick. If he was afraid to breathe before, now he’s seemingly forgotten how. He’s starting to panic, “What do I do?! My life is ruined, our lives, our careers! What have I done?!?!”

Suzy’s voice is hushed, she’s whispering at a volume only he can hear. “You don’t have to come out, it’s ok. I just want you to know that I saw you watching us, almost from the beginning. But Arin has no idea you’re here.”

“I’m so sorry,” Dan gets himself together to just barely croak out. He’d been caught. Of course Suzy knew he was there, he can’t hide anything from her.

“It really is ok, I’m not upset. As I’m sure you could tell, Arin and I have fantasized about this. In our own fucked-up way, we hoped for this. I’m sorry if that freaks you out. I know this must be a lot.”

“Uh-huh,” he says, almost inaudibly. He couldn’t believe it. Could he ever face them again? He still feels like he betrayed their trust, despite Suzy’s reassurance. He did this all wrong. And yet, a lot of that didn’t feel wrong. The way it happened, yes, but some of those feelings he found, well...

“I just want you to know that what happens next is up to you. For the time being, Arin is too afraid to tell you how he feels, but he wants you as more than a friend. I do, too. But it’s your decision,” she says quietly, yet earnestly. There’s no hesitation in her voice; instead, it’s full of conviction. “We can forget this ever happened. You can trust me, I won’t tell Arin you were here. I’ll distract him a bit longer. If he hears something I’ll say it’s still the repairman. I think that someday, Arin will have the courage to tell you how he feels. We can deal with that eventually. Until then, things can stay the same if you want them to... But if you don’t want them to, you can come in, and we’ll talk and we’ll take the chance together. I think it’s worth a try. Even if things change, it can be for the better... for now, the choice is yours.”

With that, Suzy turns around and tiptoes away towards the bathroom. Dan sits unmoving, her words ringing in his ears, flooding his mind. “They wanted me as more than a friend. Thy wanted me to be here. Arin wanted me, wants me… Suzy let me watch them and she liked it... Fuck. What do I do? What can I do? I don’t have to do anything. She won’t tell Arin. Can things ever really be the same? Do I... do I want them to be the same?”

Dan hears the toilet flush and water run. Suzy is almost done washing up and getting Arin towels. Dan knows he only has a few minutes to decide. He hears her exit and walk back to Arin. Dan wants to yell out to her, ask her more questions, get her advice on what he should do. Before he can even open his mouth, the office door closes yet again. She’s giving him the chance to go without being seen. Or the chance to make a grand entrance.

Finally, Dan stands up. His eyes are glued to that door. It could fly open any second. “No,” he reminds himself, still on edge, “she wouldn’t do that, but I do need to decide fast.” Dan properly pulls his pants up and redoes his belt. He moves out from behind the couch and grimaces as the cold wet parts of his shirt stick to his stomach. Things were so different just less than an hour ago, although it feels like a lifetime has gone by. His life really won’t be the same, but the way it’s different is up to him.

Dan looks again at the light in the cracks between the door and it’s frame. Once again he sees that there’s movement inside, almost just like when this all began. His head turns toward the main entrance to the space. The red “EXIT” sign glows in the dark, an on-the-nose yet accurate reminder that he has a way out. He stares down at his feet, hoping they would make the choice for him, take him down the right path. But there is no objectively right path, this has to be based on what he wants.

“What do I want?” Dan has wanted so much in his life and he’s gotten so much, but he never expected to want this. “Do I actually want this?…” He thinks he knows the answer, but thinking is only getting him so far. It’s feeling that got him here, so he lets himself feel. For a moment, Dan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Once they open, he starts walking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's admission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, there's no smut in this chapter, but the angst continues!

A light knock is all he can manage. He’s trying to ignore the faint taste of acid in his throat and the loud voice yelling at him to run for the sake of self-preservation. He mostly succeeds, but it’s why a gentle tap is the most he can do. He hopes that they heard it, yet that does nothing to bolster his confidence. Suzy might’ve intended for him to burst right in, but even after everything that’s happened tonight, he’s not that kind of person. 

“I’ve invaded their privacy enough as is, I’ll admit to that, as long as I can get through the next part... I don’t think they’re moving anymore. Maybe they did hear me? But Arin’s office is pretty sound-proof...”

Dan presses his ear to the door and hears them talking, Arin giggling. “They definitely did not. Fuck. Ok.” With his head still against the wood, Dan knocks clearly, the loud reverberations hurting his inner ear. The pain makes this real. The laughter stops. They heard him this time.

Dan makes out Arin saying “that guy came back” and the word “pants,” Suzy says “might be someone else.” Before Arin can ask who it could be, Dan swallows his terror once again and answers the unspoken question.

“Hey, it’s Danny. I’m here. I came back. Can I- can I come in?” 

“Hold on, Dan. Give us a minute,” Suzy replies in a way meant to give them enough time to finish cleaning up and to keep Dan from losing his nerve. 

Dan removes his head from against the door and nods. He feels stupid since they can’t see him, so he lets out a noise that sort of sounds like acknowledgment. He looks straight ahead, waiting for the point of no return. The voice that shouted at him before is oddly silent, but in that silence he can hear his heart pounding like a bass drum. He wouldn’t be surprised if Arin and Suzy could hear it, too. “Come on, dude, fucking get it together. You owe them this. You need to come clean. Fuck, take responsibility- I need to come clean. Suzy said I had time until Arin would bring it up, but I can’t live pretending. This is for the best. We need to talk. Yeah… How the hell do I even start?”

He’s lost in thought when he’s suddenly blinded by the shift from near darkness to bright light. The romantic mood lighting from before is replaced by stark overheads. Dan blinks rapidly to focus his vision. When it comes back, he finds Arin watching him.

“Arin!...” Dan’s mind exclaims. Arin’s holding the door open, his brow is furrowed, cheeks flushed, and an imitation of his typically easy-going smile is plastered on the lower half of his face. “He wasn’t really expecting me, he’s probably freaking out. He looks like he’s going to hurl.” Dan assumes his own appearance isn’t that different. Realizing that his mouth has been hanging open, he snaps it closed, only to remember no one’s said anything and they’ve been staring at each other. For how long? Seconds? Minutes? Dan’s life has changed completely in almost no time at all, maybe now he’s trapped for an eternity, staring at this man who means more to him than he can process, this man who he might lose forever. 

“Hey, Dan! What’s up?” Arin breaks them out of the freeze-frame with an almost cheerful-sounding greeting. 

“Uhhh, hi! I was on the way to the airport...” It’s the first thing that Dan can think to say. He feels like an idiot and subsequently feels his cheeks burn. There’s a blur of movement behind Arin. “Hey, Suzy!”

She’s standing a few steps behind Arin. To Dan’s relief, a small but genuine smile plays across her mouth and reaches her eyes. “Hi Dan. So you were going to the airport, but you’re here now, huh?” 

“Yeah, um, I was going to go there directly but, I-” His eyes flicker back and forth between the married couple in front of him, some of the people he thought he knew best in the world. Then again, he thought he knew himself pretty well, too. “-I remembered that I needed the flash drive with the NSP songs we’ve been working on. And I left that here. So I came here first... I didn’t plan on coming here I mean, but I... I’m glad I did.” Only after he says it and sees Suzy grin does he realize how much he actually means it. Despite the possible shitstorm, Dan wants things in the open and dealt with, although he can’t imagine it’ll go well. 

“Well, uh, I’m happy to see you before you go, too,” Arin says quietly, more to himself than to anyone. His head hangs and he averts his eyes.

This instantly reminds Dan of Arin’s submission, which in turn causes the phantom sensation of a throb in his pants. Dan frantically dismisses the memory, “this isn’t the time for that, and it may never be again.” He has to stay focused because Arin doesn’t know what he saw yet.

As Dan scolds himself again for the thousandth time, Arin lifts his gaze back to Dan and solemnly says, “I owe you a huge apology.”

Dan draws back in surprise. Even after everything, he wasn’t expecting that. “Why? What for?”

Arin doesn’t answer right away. “He might say it now. Maybe he will admit everything,” Dan wishes, “take part of this off of me. No, that’s a shitty thing to hope for. I did a shitty thing. I’m here to cop to that. Even if Arin comes clean,” Dan thinks, “I still watched them in secret. They deserved better.” 

“I saw the drive on Brian’s desk like, minutes after you left,” he finally says, “but I didn’t call you to come back for it or even offer to bring it downstairs myself. That was a really shitty thing for me to do, I knew you wanted to take it with you, but I wanted- um, I didn’t tell you. And you had to go out of your way to come back here, so, I’m sorry.” Arin pauses and half turns, reaching a hand out to Suzy, who steps forward and takes it reassuringly in both of hers. “A few minutes ago I was telling Suzy how much I regretted doing that. I wasn’t being a good friend to you. Again, I’m really sorry. I hope you don’t miss your flight because of me.”

Dan’s jaw slackens again; he doesn’t know what to say, but Suzy is watching him expectantly and Arin is back to staring at his feet. It’s still up to him to bring everything forward. Arin could only tell him part of the truth, probably because he thinks it’ll terrify Dan, maybe revolt him. But clearly, that’s not the case; Arin and Suzy need to know that. “Arin, can you look at me?”

The younger man hesitantly does, his face tight, as if he’s waiting for Dan’s wrath to be unleashed on him. “Since when have I even been capable of that?” Dan wonders, “Then again, he just came from a vulnerable place, I need to remember that. Maybe I should’ve waited to have this talk. Ugh, well, there’s no going back now.”

Dan takes a grounding breath and continues to speak, not knowing fully what’s going to come out. “It’s alright, I’m not mad at you for not texting me. It’s okay. I changed my mind about going to Portland. Actually I changed my mind about a few things, or I guess, realized a few things. And that’s thanks to you, both of you, I mean.” 

Arin’s eyebrows quirk upwards, hopeful and confused, “So you forgive me?”

“Of course! I only hope- Well I have a lot to be sorry about myself,” he grimaces.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, why should you be sorry?” Arin sounds more like his usual self, the source of his shame suppressed while Dan prepares for his own to come out. 

“If you’re not going to the airport, why don’t you come in and talk with us?” Suzy steps aside, inviting him into the office. She’s still holding onto Arin as she does.

“Yeah dude, come in here, it’s not like you to back out of things last minute. You just said you were on your way to the airport before you got here. Are you feeling ok?”

Dan spent so much time on the other side of the doorway that crossing it now feels unnatural, like he’s abandoning his post. “I’ll never look at that spot the same way again. That is, if I’m ever allowed back into the Grump Space after what I’m going to say. Arin might never want to see me again. He’ll probably fire me. Even if he doesn’t, how could I think that this will work? Fuck, I ruined everything. Suzy gave me an out, why didn’t I take it?” Dan’s mind starts racing the moment he steps inside. He’s hyperventilating and the room starts to bare down on him. He hasn’t had a panic attack in ages, but here he is, slipping back into that uncomfortable, lost and floating feeling.

“Hey, hey, buddy, let’s sit down, ok? I don’t know what’s going on, but you don’t need to worry, alright? We’ve got you. Let’s take a seat on the couch here.” Arin’s hands are on Dan’s shoulders guiding him to the couch that Dan has taken countless naps on. Tears are filling his eyes. He doesn’t want to lose this closeness. Arin turns him and gently leads him to the plush cushions. 

Dan makes out the blurry shape of Suzy as she sits next to him. She encourages Dan to take slow, deep breaths. Arin’s elsewhere, it sounds like he’s rushing around the room. While he’s gone Suzy whispers, “Danny, you don’t have to do this. I didn’t mean to push you.”

“I want to,” he manages to gasp out, barely audible even to his own ears. 

When Arin comes back, he kneels in front of Dan, holding a box of tissues. “Focus on your breathing, Dan, it’ll be over soon. We’re here for you. I have some Kleenex if you want them.”

Dan still feels shaky, but the panic has settled somewhat. He blinks tears away to clear his vision and feels them rolling down his cheeks. He takes up Arin’s offer, grabbing a few tissues and mashing them onto his face. He hopes he was fast enough so that they didn’t see him cry, but he knows they’ve been staring at him intently, there’s no way they missed it. At least while he’s having a breakdown no one expects him to be capable of actually talking. That’ll run out eventually.

He throws out the tissues into the waste paper basket by the couch without a thought. This place is so familiar to him, these people are. Or at least they were. He was.

“Whooo, I’m sorry, that took me by surprise,” he says with mock joviality.

“It happens. You don’t have to tell us what’s wrong if you don’t want to, but you don’t have to pretend that you’re okay either.” Arin sees through his bullshit, so he can’t turn this back into nothing.

“Yeah, Dan, you don’t have to do this tonight. We can drive you home and if you feel like talking another day, we’ll be there,” Suzy takes his hand now and gives it a squeeze. Dan wriggles his out of her grasp and looks at her apologetically.

Suzy cringes but gives a tight-lipped smile anyway. “She’s on the same page as me whereas poor Arin is left out of this particular loop. It’s not fair, none of this is,” Dan agonizes silently. “I shouldn’t be developing feelings for my married friends at forty. Or well, acknowledging my feelings.” He knows this isn’t out of nowhere; he never let himself get this far before.

Dan makes himself meet Arin’s eyes, Arin who is down in front of him, all care and concern. “I- thanks for the offer and helping me get calm, but I came here because I wanted to talk,” Dan’s voice shakes but at least he’s talking above a whisper now. He hopes that he can keep his confidence now that he’s got the ball rolling. “And even though I’m having a hard time with it, I don’t think it’ll be any better if I put it off. So-“

“Are you leaving?”

Dan doesn’t anticipate the sudden interruption from Arin. “What? No, I said I wasn’t-“

“No, not the trip. Are you leaving Game Grumps? Are you quitting?” Arin’s voice is cold and flat. He stares at Dan unblinkingly. It’s like he’s preparing for Dan to say yes, even though that’s the last thing Dan wants.

“NO! God no! Of course not! I’m not quitting!”

“Then what are you talking about?” Arin’s trying not to sound frustrated. “Please, Dan, I’m really confused,” he adds, sounding apologetic for raising his temper.

“Ha, you’re confused?” Dan needs to pull off the band-aid now before this gets anymore out of hand. “Ugh sorry, I-I don’t know how else to say this, so I’ll just say it.” He takes a breathe and dives in. “Arin, I know you wanted me to walk in on you and Suzy.” At that Arin makes a noise halfway between a gasp and a wheeze, but Dan doesn’t stop. “I know that you hoped I’d come back for the flash drive. And I did. I came back. I saw everything, I heard everything. I don’t know if you believe this, but I’m really, really sorry it didn’t go how you wanted. I sat there outside the door the whole time instead. I did more than just sit there actually and that’s so fucked up. I really fucked up. I’m sorry, to both of you. I betrayed your trust and I don’t know if you can or should forgive me, but please know... I’m sorry.”

Arin’s eyes have gone wider than Dan’s ever seen, the rest of his face is flushed scarlet. His mouth opens and closes like a fish. “I broke him,” Dan thinks. “I did this to him. He never imagined that I could do something like this. I didn’t either but still. Fuck.”

“Fuck,” Arin echos the word aloud. His head slumps. “Fucking fuck!” His voice cracks as he shouts. Dan grimaces but decides to stay quiet and let Arin process this. Arin drops onto both legs, the same position he’d been in when he had his mouth on Suzy. This whole time he’d practically sat between Dan’s legs and now that Dan has brought him pain, it’s a terrible imitation of the earlier pleasure, a cruel reminder.

Dan leans back against the couch and brings his feet up into an upright fetal position. He wants to retreat from Arin’s personal space, but he can’t run away. If he couldn’t leave Arin before, he definitely can’t leave him like this.

Suzy shifts onto the floor next to her husband. She puts an arm around Arin’s shoulders and Dan can see them trembling, an image that makes his chest tighten. Suzy leans to Arin’s ear and whispers that she saw Dan in the door and kept going anyway, let Arin say all those things with him right there. “I thought it would make things easier, I thought it would be for the best. I’m so sorry.” Now Arin is staring at her with the same aghast expression he’d given Dan.

Suzy lets go of Arin and blushes. It’s clear that she’s unsure she made the right move earlier. She didn’t expect Arin to react quite like this. Dan is realizing he’s somehow capable of feeling even more scared for their future. “This is it. The end of our friendship. The end of everything that matters to me.”

Arin shoots off the ground and steps a few feet away, turning his back on his wife and Dan. Suzy half reaches out to touch him, then reconsiders. She turns to Dan, shrugs and smiles sadly. There are tears in her eyes.

“You were right there,” Arin’s states hoarsely as he nods toward the door, not looking back at Dan.

“Yes.” It’s not a question but Dan answers anyway.

“Everything. You said you heard and saw everything!” Arin turns on his heel and points at Dan accusingly.

It’s the truth, so Dan bobs his head, shame swallowing him, a familiar feeling.

“God, I was so fucking stupid! I ruined our lives!” Arin yells, his face turning red from exertion and embarrassment.

“No!”

“No, you didn’t!”

Dan and Suzy shout in tandem and quickly glance at each other. They want to stop Arin from blaming himself. Dan opens his mouth to continue and Suzy wordlessly agrees to let him.

“Arin, you didn’t ruin anything. I did. I made the choice to sit there and watch.”

“Didn’t you say you did more than just watch? Huh? What did you do? Record it? Send it to someone? Say ‘Look at disgusting, pathetic Arin! Getting s-spanked, get-getting off on the idea of being seen? But the idiot has no clue!’” Arin is still shouting, throat ragged from tears barely held back. “WELL? What did you do!?”

“No! Not that! Arin, I could never- would never think to-” Dan feels the blood drain from his face. This is so much worse than he could’ve imagined. “I would never do any of those things. I’m so sorry I hurt you so deeply that you think I’m capable of that. I’m not, I swear!”

Arin puts his head in his hands and his whole body sags. He’s muffled but his voice is full of exhaustion and pain as he asks, “Then what else did you do?”

Dan can’t keep still anymore, he has to get this out of him and be totally honest and the words bring him to stand right in front of Arin, hardly any space between them as he let’s the whole truth out.

“I got myself off! I rubbed it out while watching you! Ok?! That’s what I did! I didn’t record it, I didn’t tell anyone! I pulled my fucking pants down and jerked off so that I’d cum when you cummed! Came! Whatever!” Dan pulls at his hair, fully aware of how crazy he sounds, but keeps going, now pacing back in forth between the others. “I knew I was doing something awful by being there without you knowing, I crossed enough lines just with that. But I decided ‘Fuck it! This is fucking hot and they’re attracted to me and guess what?! I’m attracted to them, too!’ And then I tried to run away, but guess what else? I couldn’t! I couldn’t leave without telling you all of this. I couldn’t hide from you. And-and more importantly,” Dan says more tenderly, “I didn’t want to hide from you. Not after that. Seeing you like that was... I- I don’t want it to be the last time I get to see that. And if you want there to be a next time, well, I’d want you to see me, too.”

He’s out of breath and barely keeping another panic attack at bay, but a small part of him is manically happy- it’s all out there now. At some point while Dan was shouting his full confession, Arin had lowered his arms and stood up straight. Now he squints at Dan and clenches his jaw before speaking.

“I get it, Suzy’s amazing and got you wired up. It’s her you want to see. You don’t have to humor me,” Arin spits out bitterly. The venom in these words stops Dan in his tracks, but he doesn’t feel like the real meaning is directed at him; he knows the sound of self-loathing.

“I need you to listen to me, Arin,” he tries to say firmly, but it comes out like begging. He so desperately wants Arin to hear him, what he really means by all this, to know why he stayed beyond the apology. “Yes, seeing both of you got my attention, but what I’m really trying to say is it’s you! I think that if I got here and found you by yourself doing all that stuff, hell, even saying all that same stuff about me, the end result,” Dan gestures to himself, at his now visibly stained shirt and jeans, “would’ve been the same. It’s not just Suzy, it’s you, too. It’s you... Arin, I want you the way you want me.”

Long held back tears fall in a steady stream down Arin’s cheeks. He barely chokes out, “Dan, if this is some kind of a joke-“

“I promise you, it’s not. I wouldn’t do that to you, not now and definitely not like this.”

Arin clears his throat, “You’re not saying this out of pity, are you? Tell me the truth, I can handle it. You shouldn’t do this because you feel sorry for me.”

“UGH! ARIN! He doesn’t feel sorry for you! Please, try to really hear what he just said,” Suzy had been crying and wipes her eyes, but she’s reached the end of her ability to sit silently while Dan and Arin ranted and raved. At her words, Arin shuts his mouth and scrunches his eyes shut. Dan didn’t mean to talk almost exclusively to Arin when he got here, but it’s what the situation demanded and he’s so grateful to Suzy for her stoicism earlier and vocal support now.

“Suzy, I never really apologized to you. I’m sorry I watched you and, well, masturbated to you. It’s not an excuse but you’re amazing and I’m so grateful to you and again I’m sorry,” he crouches to her level and takes her hand, trying to make up for not holding hers earlier. 

The looks of worry and frustration that had been etched in Suzy’s face release a bit. “You have apologized to me Dan and I accept and I hope you accept mine.”

“Of course I do.” Dan breathes out slowly, trying to center himself among all of these frenzied emotions. He feels dizzy, so he takes his place back on the couch before passing out and making this night even more complicated with the involvement of paramedics. He swallows thickly, “Umm, Arin, how are you doing? I know this is a lot, but what are you feeling?”

Arin looks back and forth between Suzy and Dan and flails his arms in a frazzled shrug. He walks stiffly over to the couch and sits next to Dan, so close that they’re almost touching. Dan stiffens; he’s surprised that Arin is willing to do this given everything and he doesn’t want to scare him away. They stay like that for a while. Suddenly, Arin slouches against the back, sitting comfortably, the way he would when they’re hanging out, as if this was another Friday night when they stayed too late in the office and are catching up off mic. But it’s not one of those nights.

“You didn’t go. You weren’t disgusted. You were turned on,” Arin rattles these things off like an ordinary list, matter of factly. “Why didn’t you come in?”

“I panicked,” Dan mutters. His face flushes as he turns to look at Arin and continues, “I was already touching myself before you admitted those things and I hated myself for it. So when you said you wanted me in there, my brain shut down and all I could focus on was your pleasure and er, mine. It feels weird to say it like that, but it’s true. God, it was so hot, and it feels wrong to say that, but that’s true, too.” Dan half-laughs awkwardly, not sure why he let those things slip out. He’s sure that they’ll make things so much worse again. His guilt isn’t abating with his confession, he’s only reminding himself of how wrong everything he did really was and-

Arin is giggling, laughing hysterically as if Dan said the funniest thing in the world and Dan’s face burns with shame. Dan knows he deserves the mockery, but he can’t take seeing it coming from his best friend like this, so he sits forward and stares at the hardwood instead.

Out of nowhere, he feels arms wrap around his middle and Arin’s laughter is quieter but a lot closer and Dan can feel it rumbling through him now.

“I know I’ve said we’re a couple of idiots on a couch before, but I think tonight takes it,” Arin says, leaning his head against Dan’s shoulder, but not letting go.

Dan gasps. “Does this mean?...” he thinks, to himself, too afraid to ask aloud.

Suzy sighs with relief and lays flat on her back. “Oh thank goodness,” she says sounding exhausted and elated.”

“C’mere, Suze,” Arin says, letting go of Dan with one of his arms and reaching out to his wife. His other arm gently squeezes Dan’s back.

Suzy groans melodramatically, but gets up and sits sideways across Arin’s lap, looking at Dan. “Well?” she says.

Dan glances at her and sees her grinning, so he shifts a bit, making Arin lift off of him. This way he can look at them both and ask, “What does this mean? I’m not fired? Are we- can we still be friends?”

“Danny,” Arin’s face softens into a warm smile, this one reaching his eyes, “we never stopped being friends.”

“Are you sure about that?” Dan asks skeptically. 

Arin looks more somber but still radiates warmth and caring, “Yes, I am. I thought I doubted it for a minute, but I could never lose you. And, well, as for what this means... I don’t really know. But I know that we all care about each other and… have feelings for each other. Wow, I can’t believe I actually said that out loud to you. Listen, It’s my turn to apologize; I’m sorry I put you in this position. I’m sorry I caused you to doubt our friendship, and your job, and put things in motion in this way. I guess the only thing I’m not sorry about is how I feel about you and I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course it’s ok. I care about you so much and in so many ways, ones that I could never put words to before and I’m not even sure I could now, but I know they’re there. Whatever this is, what it’ll be, it’s just another way I get to show how I care and I’m so grateful for it, for you.” Arin looks at Dan reverently and Dan hopes his facial expression shows a fraction of that feeling.

“These people are so precious to me,” Dan thinks, “I never want to hurt them the way I did tonight ever again.”

The silence that they fall into is comfortable, it lets them all process what’s happened today, the days leading up to it, and the days to come. Suzy gives Arin a quick peck on the temple, then pushes his head to hers and tenderly kisses his lips. She tilts forward to Dan. Dan hesitates to meet hers, but if this really is what they all want, then it will be okay. The kiss is fast but sweet and leaves them elated.

Dan locks eyes with Arin; for a split second, he’s afraid that he’ll yell at him for kissing his wife. Instead it looks like Arin just wants to say something; Dan thinks he knows what it is and he wants to say it, too. Neither want to be the first. Dan parts his lips and Arin leans in to listen eagerly, but Dan can’t bring himself to break the quiet with this somehow still terrifying question.

Arin finally finds the courage, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” Dan says on an exhale, already moving towards the man next to him.

Their lips meet, soft and gentle, a little hesitant on both sides. No one is pulling away or shouting or crying. Someone pushes forward a bit, not quite ramping up the intensity, but still getting closer and the other follows suit. They stay like that for a moment, savoring how right it feels after everything. The moment’s over eventually, but it’s enough for now. It’s a good place to start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a very long work in progress and I'm still not 100% happy with it, but I don't think I'll ever be. Here's to more dirty happenings in Chapter 3.

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a one-off but I'm thinking of making it into a “choose your own adventure”-type story. If you want to see more, let me know! Which of Dan’s paths would you want me to write first? If I go this route, I'll try to release them simultaneously, but may prioritize one based on reader interest.
> 
> UPDATE: After several attempts at making the “Choose Your Own Adventure” thing work, including losing written progress on both storylines, I’ve decided to only go with the “Into the Office” plotline. This fic isn’t abandoned, I just lost motivation for a while and am back to writing/editing the next chapter(s). Thanks for reading!


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